World cheers Obama peace prize

The world is unanimously in great spirits and good cheer on the Nobel peace prize awarded to the US President. We interviewed a section of the cheering hordes to gather their reactions.

In India, local politicians were ecstatic at Obama's victory. "Finally, the world is warming up to India's long standing tradition of rewarding politicians for promises made, rather than results delivered. We welcome the peace prize as an endorsement of success of the Indian political system." A leading party has promised to start a low-cost housing scheme called 'Baracks Barracks' to honour the US president.

In Tuscaloosa (Alabama), there was a massive rally of foreclosed homeowners cheering for their Prez. "Ye know, that’s the kind of thing we were thinkin' back in 2004. So what if ah havent done nothin' to deserve this half a million dollar condo? Mah intent is to provide a lavish lifestyle for mah family. The banks were ready to give me a loan despite no credit, Ah would be a damned fool to turn it down!"

Top executives of Wall Street companies celebrated with champagne and caviar at the Waldorf-Astoria in midtown Manhattan. "We wholeheartedly support the culture of instant gratification, where short term results get rewarded out of proportion." Ex-President George W Bush who also attended, exhibited surprise and happiness at the announcement. "I didn’t think anyone in washington would ever get the nobull prize"

Reactions from the United Nations were similarly jubilant. "The prize clearly proves that a motherhood & apple-pie intent to do good is more important than achieving it. Finally people will realize that global organizations such as UN and Nobel prize committees are more than just stuffed suits committed to a lifetime of not rocking the boat."

In a related news, the US president will participate in the second session on healthcare reform remotely using an earpiece, while simultaneously attending the Nobel awards ceremony in Oslo. "We are really glad to have a president who can truly multi-task.", said the chairman of the healthcare reform committee.
"Our previous session was held while the President was attending Olympic city selection proceedings in Copenhagen."

The acrostic

"So does no one have the courage to pick up the beeda?" The queen mother looked derisively at the assembled lords. The sturdy sirdars hung their heads in shame. The betel leaf lay untouched in the plate at the centre, the intact silver warq mocking the assembly. "Maybe we should add some more rooms to the janaan-khaana, so these sirdaars can have a place to stay', she spat into the spitoon.

"Hukm!", a voice boomed from the back. The great Khan strode in his seven foot frame to the centre of the darbar and picked up the beeda. "Hum pakad layenge Sivaji ko!", he thundered.

---

The swami was sleepless. His spy had just come in with the news that the great Khan had picked up the gauntlet. The Swami knew anyone leaving the fortified Adilshahi capital would be followed. He knew the news wouldn’t reach Raigad till the Khan reached the border town of Wai. And then it might be too late.
It was in the wee hours of the morning that a kirtan-kar came to seek the swami. He would lead a dindi all the way to Alandi. The pilgrims would walk for seven days, singing and dancing in the name of an 11th century saint. They sought swami's blessings in the morning prayers. The swami had an inspirational owee for them.

---

Maharaj sought the blessings of the pilgrims assembled at the temple. 'Let the words of the wise bring light', his mother used to say. A kirtan-kar from Bijapur, his nasal singsong tone amply betraying his brahmin origins, started the kirtan.

"Vivek karava karya sadhuna,
jaanaar nartanu he jaNona,
pudheel bhavishyaarthi mana,
rahatochi naye.

Chalu naye asanmaargee,
satyata baanalya angi,
raghuveerkrupa te prasangi,
daasa-mahatmya vaadhavi.

Rajaninath aani dinkar,
nitya karati sanchara,
ghalitaati yera-saara,
laavile bhramana jagadeeshe.

Aadimaya mool bhavani,
hee sakala brahmandachi swamini,
yekanti viveka karoni,
ishta yojana karavi."

---

Maharaj smiled, declared a generous donation to the temple and excusing himself from the rest of the ceremony, rode back to Raigad.

The Bard

1150 AD

Rana made a final dash towards the Ghori invader. An attack, that if successful, would in one sweep of the sword, change the war and the history of the subcontinent. But Ghori was as vigilant as the Rana was valiant. He moved away with speed, back into his cordon of protectors. An Uzbek guard seized the reins of Rana's horse and unseated the mighty Rana.

Unfortunately for the chivalrous Rana, Ghori's ideals were decidedly more practical. In one swift decree, he declared himself as the master over all of Ranas dominions and declared Rana as a royal prisoner of war.

"Ah, so the great king of Rajputana and Hindustan is now a prisoner of a slave governor from Ghori. This is amusing indeed!", the Sultan was merciless in his taunts.
"Lower your eyes when you speak to me Rana, like every other kaafir commoner"
"A Rajput's eyes are never lowered, O Ghori. Certainly not to a raiding marauder", the Rana responded with the charactersitic defiance and disregard for prudence.
"Very well, burn them then."

The bard had accompanied the rana throughout his childhood. He and the Rana grew up together. He would compose poetry and paint, while the Rana learnt political science, economics and martial arts. The bard accompanied Rana to the battles and to the royal prisons.

The buzz of the upcoming archery context was all among the slave subedars of the court. Who would win the contest? The prize was bountiful, a hundred thousand gold coins and 'Amir-ul-Mara', the title of freedom. The bard was thoughtful.

There is great mirth among the subedars. The blinded kaafir king has entered an archery contest! A gazelle is being swirled around by a rotating post at a distance. The Sultan seats himself on a magnificent throne in the grounds. The show begins.

"Well Ranaji, what are you waiting for?"

The bard cleared his throat. 'Amir-ul-Mulk, a humble request. The Rana won't accept orders to shoot from anyone but another king. So if you please issue the command to shoot, the rana will shoot the gazelle right in the eye"

"Proud as a king, and proud as a slave, eh? Very well, O Bard." And then, with a voice as unctuous as he could manage, the Sultan spoke, "O mighty king, if you could please show your prowess in archery." Rana did not move.

"Hukm ki TAMEEL HO!", the Sultan shouted.

The Rana lifted the bow and pulled the string taut.

And then the bard whispered, ever so softly..
' Paanch kos, pachaas gaj, angul ashta pramaan,
ta par Sultan hain, chuke mat Chauhan'

There was a very small indiscernible pause, which went unnoticed by everyone except the bard. Then in a fluid movement, the Rana turned to one side and let the arrow fly.

The Sultans expression did not waver. He did not clap. He sat motionless for what seemed like an long time. And then ever so gently, like the swish of the fans behind him, he slumped forward, his head held a little above the knees only by the three foot arrow jutting out of his neck.

Woman at the door

The nights in Vagale match up to your expectations of a Goan village night. A dark summer night devoid of streetlights, croaking flogs, chirping crickets, the ancestral home had it all. A power failure just added to the charm.

We settled in the dark living room, with a couple of candles burning on the centre table. In just a day, we had enthusiastically embraced the 'Sushekaat' principle, which every Goan langrously defends. Murmurs of post dinner conversation blended with the waters of Mandovi rippling some distance from the backyard. Cinema flowed into politics into family anecdotes. Befitting a lights out night, the conversation turned to local legends.

"Do you know", Mama started, "How the Dempo family became this rich?" Everyone in Goa knew the Dempos. In addition to mining interests, they ran a popular football team. Dempo & Salgaocars were the East Bengal and Mohun Bagan of Goa.
"They used to be a poor family, living on the outskirts of this very village. Appa Dempo lived with Tai in a small 2 room house with their five kids", Mama continued.
"Those were Portuguese times, and it was hard work filling 7 stomachs with what little Appa made from working as a clerk in the mines. He was neck deep in ancestral debt too. Turns out there was some trouble in the mines and Appa stopped getting his pay. With no money and no credit, it was clear the family was about to starve." Mama paused to let out a contented burp of mandeli and chicken cafreal.
We did not miss it.

"One evening, they were down to their last handful of rice. No one knew where the next meal was coming from. The family had barely sat together to eat their share of two spoons of boiled rice, when Appa heard someone at the door. He stepped out into the verandah to check. It was a woman, begging for food."
"Appa Dempo, what a man", Mama glanced reverently towards the sky, "did not hesitate and gave the entire bowl of rice to the woman. 'Atithi devo bhava' they say. You know, right?" We nodded, agreeing.

"The woman took the rice gratefully and looked up at Appa. Tai Dempo had arrived by Appas side by then. The woman's eyes met Tais. Tai turned around and walked back quietly into the house. She ran to the backdoor, into the back yard and jumped into the well. Tai had ended her life."

"What ??" We looked at each other. Everyone had a puzzled expression, I felt a chill down my spine.

"Meanwhile, the beggar woman came into the house. She walked into the inner room , in measured steps and without uttering a word, locked herself in." Mama paused, we weren't sure if it was for effect or an upcoming burp.

"You see", he continued. "The beggar woman at the door was Lakshmi - the goddess of wealth. Pleased with Appa's generosity, she decided to be in their house forever. That is why she locked herself in. And the Dempo family was never poor again. Even now they say, the Dempo mansion is built around that very room, which has never been opened in the last fifty years. Dempo is afraid Lakshmi might leave if the room is opened."

"What about Tai Dempo?"
"Well, Tai recognized Lakshmi for who she was. You know the woman of the house is the griha-lakshmi. And there can be only one Lakshmi in the house. So Tai knew she had to leave the Earth for the sake of her family. "

"They say though, if you are ever hungry and happen to peer into a well,you can see Tai beckoning you in the reflection…."

No one wanted to go for a night-walk that night.

Little Pakistan

Pakistan finally admits Kasab is a pakistani

Pak Nsa sacked for comments on Kasab nationality


"So Vicky, is Kasab a pakistani national?"

"Yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah....SHAAAAAAP!"

© Michelle Fernandes Datey