The highwayman is a social phenomenon. He forms his band at social gatherings.
There was a time when people who had nothing better to talk about discussed the weather or the water situation. But what with those topics running dry (ha ha), long hours of a dinner party are now spent discussing Interstate routes.
Literature, Art, Cinema, all have taken the backseat due to this rather base topic of discussion. This Pathology has reached such alarming proportions, that people don't dare to talk about anything else lest they be considered wimps.
People ignore the bullet holes on your car, or the deer sticking out of the radiator; But they want to know if you came by the fastest route possible.
There is one man at the party who has complete knowledge of the nations routes. His wife beats him on the head everyday with a cauliflower, but in this conversation he assumes an air of the invincible.
"Oh, you took a long time getting here..", he starts. "I assume you took the turnpike?"
"Umm.. yeah..", the innocent man says.
The highway man lets out a smirk.
"You should have taken the Interstate from exit 64 on the Beltway. 17 South is a much faster way of getting here than the Van Johnson. You can also try the country route 5.."
As the conversation proceeds, onlookers form a circle around the innocent man. They jeer and throw bits of pudding on him. The party is a great success.
The highway man swaggers, with ladies fawning and children wide-eyed.
The party ends. The innocent man slinks away, resolving to memorize the map. The highway man walks out of the door, once again the meek guy living a quiet life of compromise.
